025 - Jim the Insurance Dog saves Big Time
Hector was an actuary.
He was a good actuary.
crunchin’ the numbers,
actuating,
er.. actuaryifying?
saving money for his company
He was the best actuary, in fact.
Insurance companies from all across the lands would send him letters,
emails,
and postcards.
They'd wine and dine him,
saying;
“Wow Hector, you're so good at crunching those insurance digits on our clients, won't you please come work for us instead?"
but Hector was loyal.
See,
His mom also worked for Big Guy Insurance Time Inc.
She was in the paper pushing department.
She was one of the best actually,
-the last to get laid off when they went to digital back in ‘03.
being the best really ran in their family
they gave her her pension early and she still wears her BGITI sweater from time to time to cut the morning chill.
So yeah, there’s no way in heck Hector would be going to work for Other Guys Insurance Helpers Group or the countless other companies that would reach out to him.
Sadly
A day came where he would leave…
It happened when Hector’s boss, Jim the Insurance Dog came up to him and spoke. “Hector, we've got a new computer program, it’s called the Fonz. It's a large language model, have you heard of them? - it’s the way of the future.”
“We give it the data points, you know, the spread sheets”
“…and it gives us the actuary stuff back, best numbers around, down to the nickel!”
“We had our analysts look over it and tell you what, its actually doing a really good job!”
Hector hearing this got a bit saddened.
But Jim, noticing the defeat in Hector’s eyes, added.
“Hector, Your the best dang actuary in all the lands, and your mom!, your mom was the best paper pusher we ever had!”
“We at Big Guy Insurance Time Inc appreciate all you've done and that’s why we're giving you your full pension and offering you and all the actuaries in fact, an early retirement.”
This was going on at all the insurance companies, the Fonz was truly the bee’s knees in the actuary business.
For a brief moment Hector felt a John Henry moment coming on but it was stifled by the golden opportunity set in front of him. He swallowed his pride, shook Jim’s paw and punched out, one last time.
Flash forward one week
Hector wakes up.
He’s bored.
He's already scrolled to the end of his reels, and the “oh no oh no no no no no” song has become too much to bear for young Hector.
He puts his phone down and steps into the other room.
Wearing his BGITI sweater, to cut the morning chill, he looks out the window gazing, wondering…
"is this it?"
"is this what I’ve worked for? What I strived for?"
“what do I do?”
"I don't neeed to do anything, I'm retired!"
“so why should I?”
“Why do I feel so icky sitting around all day?”
He heads to his computer
Boots up his favorite search engine and types in
"what should I do?"
*To be continued*
**** disclaimer, I have absolutely no idea exactly what it is an actuary does but I know it’s something to do with number stuff and insurance ****